Media Manipulation Fan Gifts

'I'm in P.R. This is where I keep the spin.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Extreme miming"

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

"There goes the person that proved the Peter principal faster than anyone in history."

'Tell them there'll be no retaliation, then check with the chiefs of staff, the media and our major allies what leeway we have in the adapted dissuasion department.'

'Well, SOMEBODY leaked the frog incident to the press!'

The Calmocracy

"Elective surgery? But I'm not even registered to vote!"

LIBERAL MEDIA POLLS, 'Do you think President Obama is doing a great job, a wonderful job, or an absolutely terrific job?'

News Wear World

'The controversy builds, as we gather more half-arsed comments to dress up as considered public opinion!'

"No, no, the way you're shifting your papers - it's all wrong."

Reality TV

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

'How about 'I'm still breastfeeding my five year old, half ton, binge drinking, monkey baby'?'

"Hold still - almost done."

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"

'Okay, the print media convicted you...but trust me, the video media will overturn the verdict.'

"Not a parrot, Holbrook, but a compact P.A. wih a whole lot of appreciate for what I do for this country."

News Hourglass

Woman on a Pedestal. . . Who Married the Mothers Boy.

"We interrupt this programme to warn viewers that programmes may sometimes be interrupted."

"Let me through - I'm a Sound Recordist!"

'Uh oh. Cougar alert.'

"... And in other news: Still no truce at 75 Greene Street, apartment 3F."

Lord Robert Winston

News Brief: The Saddam trial turned into a shouting match...'Is that like pundits squaring off on TV?'

"Aside from the foot, do you think my parking's getting better?"

"It's my personal, one step recipe for success. Step 1: Gimme all your money."

"There's a man at the door with a wooden leg."

'I've always been a great fan of yours. I wrote all your books!'

'All right, pal, that's enough! Are you gonna pay for the paper or not?'