Mechanical Mishap Jokers Gifts

'I don't even need to look under the helmet. He blew a head gasket.'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Desert Island Mishap

Photobooth Photobomb

Giggle.

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"Is this your husbands first flight?"

Artists Impression of the first call for roadside assistance...

"He talks at 100 miles an hour." "With gusts up to 120."

'Rurgh!!' - 'Burp!' - 'Form an orderly queue, ladies!'

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

Pinata Pranks

Poodle gets stuck in the elevator.

'Crash test dummy parking only' sign.

"You'll have to chuck it back- it's Kylie Minnow."

'Why the Coyote Crossed the Road?'

"Last week, my husband waded into the cords behind our TV to untangle them, and I haven't seen him since."

I thought "E" meant enough.

Hand Drier - With Added Face Wash Feature

"We're under stage four water restrictions!"

'Turn the camera off! Turn off the web cam!'

'Will your stocks recover soon? How refreshing, sir - you still have a sense of humour.'

Sadly, Ralph's third attempt at the World Fishbowl Speed Record was also his last.

'I guess I should have let sleeping dogs lie.'

"So you spilled your soda, big deal!"

Simon Says 'Cross'

The latest construction safety device: air bags on jack hammers.

"Rad's shot. Looks like a drive-by."

'THAT'S your ringtone - I'd like you to take me home now,'

They put me on hold.

'Ha, ha -- Made you look!'

This end up - You idiot.