Mechanical Mishap Jokers Pillows

'I don't even need to look under the helmet. He blew a head gasket.'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Desert Island Mishap

Photobooth Photobomb

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"Is this your husbands first flight?"

"He talks at 100 miles an hour." "With gusts up to 120."

Artists Impression of the first call for roadside assistance...

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

'Rurgh!!' - 'Burp!' - 'Form an orderly queue, ladies!'

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

Poodle gets stuck in the elevator.

'Crash test dummy parking only' sign.

'Why the Coyote Crossed the Road?'

'Will your stocks recover soon? How refreshing, sir - you still have a sense of humour.'

'Turn the camera off! Turn off the web cam!'

"We're under stage four water restrictions!"

Hand Drier - With Added Face Wash Feature

'I guess I should have let sleeping dogs lie.'

Sadly, Ralph's third attempt at the World Fishbowl Speed Record was also his last.

Simon Says 'Cross'

"So you spilled your soda, big deal!"

The latest construction safety device: air bags on jack hammers.

"Rad's shot. Looks like a drive-by."

'THAT'S your ringtone - I'd like you to take me home now,'

'Ha, ha -- Made you look!'

This end up - You idiot.

"Now where did I leave my drill. . . ?"