Safety Jokester Pillows

'Crash test dummy parking only' sign.

The latest construction safety device: air bags on jack hammers.

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

A crab with a utility knife claw

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Safety Barriers

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

Fire door.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

"You idiots … we lost!"

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.