Mechanic Jokes Gifts

"Just what I thought... Bad shock absorbers."

Electric Blanket.

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

World's cheapest car

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

'I think I've got a screw loose.'

Screw plastic surgeon.

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"It's garage music."

All you'd expect in a British car!

Scaffolding being put together by glue.

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

"I found your problem. This is a horse."

'I think I found your missing nut.'

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

The Rarely Seen Gas-Powered Eel

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

"One CC of lubricant after meals, okay?"

'Try it now.'

"The replacement part is $28, but cost will be $3,200 after we dismantle half the engine to install it."

"Yup, brakes are shot. Lemme check to see if I have any size ten in stock."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders.

'M.O.T. certificate?!...a death certificate's the best I can do.'

'Oh, here comes trouble - spanner enters workplace full of cogs!'

Electric Car Giving Driver Static.

Clancy: Car Repairs

Car Carriage

Unnatural Food-nuts and bolts, sale on junk foods, rusty nuts, bolts, and screws.

'As a safety feature, I flattened one side.'

"I agree, it's a lot of bang for the buck. And thumping, whining, clicking, clacking, clanging, grinding, buzzing and rattling."

"With some rest, vitamins and mild exercise, that metal fatigue should clear up in just a few weeks!"