Engineering Jokes Gifts

'As a safety feature, I flattened one side.'

"Talk nerdy to me."

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

'My door is always open to all employees, but only until my air conditioner is repaired.'

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

"He's been using the new virtual reality data viewer and climbing bar graphs..."

Screw plastic surgeon.

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

'Hey Bob, this trampoline doesn't seem to work...'

Scaffolding being put together by glue.

I hate getting ready for Y1K.

"Bloody GPS-plotter is going silly again!"

'My backup special...'

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

And for a mere £49.99 you can make it fully portable, sir.

"Sir, are all these compliments and this reminiscing about my time here leading up to my termination?"

Cylinder Head

Defense Contractor, Inc. Research and Development. It's a portable bathroom for navy ships. Heads will roll!

"Hey, it's the scouting virus! It doesn't affect your pc, it just makes you want to go camping!"

"Your computer is fine. It's your brain that has a lot of useless programs on it. Unfortunately, it doesn't come with an uninstall button."

America's Funniest Encrypted Passwords

"Look mate, I keep rebooting and nothing happens!!"

"He was gold prospecting, but since he dropped his phone in the water, he's now phone prospecting."

"Showoff" - Bald man envies punk.

"Knock knock. Who's there? Your former boss. Pack your things Frank."

'You've got mail.'

"Just what I thought... Bad shock absorbers."

"Lazarus was a whole different deal. This engine is just dead, dead, dead."

Take care when lifting.

'What cloak of invisibility? Just admit that you missed work yesterday.'

"So, General, what do you think of this new idea for a bridging technique?"

How to Cross the Rhine

"My computer keeps locking up. I thought 1990 was a good year to buy a computer!"

"I think I'm losing my memory."