Engineering Jokes Gifts

'As a safety feature, I flattened one side.'

"Talk nerdy to me."

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

'My door is always open to all employees, but only until my air conditioner is repaired.'

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

"He's been using the new virtual reality data viewer and climbing bar graphs..."

Screw plastic surgeon.

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

'Hey Bob, this trampoline doesn't seem to work...'

Scaffolding being put together by glue.

I hate getting ready for Y1K.

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'My backup special...'

"Bloody GPS-plotter is going silly again!"

Cylinder Head

"Hey, it's the scouting virus! It doesn't affect your pc, it just makes you want to go camping!"

"Your computer is fine. It's your brain that has a lot of useless programs on it. Unfortunately, it doesn't come with an uninstall button."

"Sir, are all these compliments and this reminiscing about my time here leading up to my termination?"

And for a mere £49.99 you can make it fully portable, sir.

America's Funniest Encrypted Passwords

"Look mate, I keep rebooting and nothing happens!!"

'You've got mail.'

"Just what I thought... Bad shock absorbers."

"Showoff" - Bald man envies punk.

"Knock knock. Who's there? Your former boss. Pack your things Frank."

"He was gold prospecting, but since he dropped his phone in the water, he's now phone prospecting."

Take care when lifting.

How to Cross the Rhine

"So, General, what do you think of this new idea for a bridging technique?"

"My computer keeps locking up. I thought 1990 was a good year to buy a computer!"

'What cloak of invisibility? Just admit that you missed work yesterday.'

"I think I'm losing my memory."

Picture messaging - '...and you hit the 'VS' verify story button and it takes a 360 degree picture without him knowing'