Engineering Jokes Admirer Gifts

Cylinder Head

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'To be honest, I would have never invented the wheel if not for Urg's ground breaking theoretical work with the circle.'

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

Screw plastic surgeon.

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

Scaffolding being put together by glue.

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

"See what I mean, it keeps making funny noises."

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

Forth Bridge finally fully painted.

"Just need to check on my smart kitchen appliances - they tend to throw dinner parties when I'm not there."

Cat Vs Inkjet Printer Venn Diagram

WIFI connections

'As a safety feature, I flattened one side.'

How to Cross the Rhine

"So, General, what do you think of this new idea for a bridging technique?"

"With some rest, vitamins and mild exercise, that metal fatigue should clear up in just a few weeks!"

Skip Hire

Up, Down, Plummet (waiting for elevator)

The Philatelist's Friend

Elijah McCoy.

Oh great. It needs AC and we've got DC.'

Pipelines

Speed bump ahead.