Mechanic Jokes Pillows

"Just what I thought... Bad shock absorbers."

Electric Blanket.

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

World's cheapest car

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

'I think I've got a screw loose.'

Screw plastic surgeon.

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

"It's garage music."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

Every time one of us gets a new head, those two think it's funny to call it "the changing of the gourd."

All you'd expect in a British car!

Scaffolding being put together by glue.

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

"I found your problem. This is a horse."

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

The Rarely Seen Gas-Powered Eel

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

'I think I found your missing nut.'

"One CC of lubricant after meals, okay?"

'Try it now.'

"The replacement part is $28, but cost will be $3,200 after we dismantle half the engine to install it."

"Yup, brakes are shot. Lemme check to see if I have any size ten in stock."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders.

Electric Car Giving Driver Static.

'Oh, here comes trouble - spanner enters workplace full of cogs!'

'M.O.T. certificate?!...a death certificate's the best I can do.'

Car Carriage

"Your husband's going to pull through, but your differential is shot!"

Unnatural Food-nuts and bolts, sale on junk foods, rusty nuts, bolts, and screws.

'As a safety feature, I flattened one side.'

Clancy: Car Repairs

"I agree, it's a lot of bang for the buck. And thumping, whining, clicking, clacking, clanging, grinding, buzzing and rattling."