Mechanic In Need Of A Laugh Gifts

Clancy: Car Repairs

Electric Blanket.

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

World's cheapest car

'I think I've got a screw loose.'

'We've found the problem...'

'They don't make cars like this any more -- the country that built them disappeared.'

"It's garage music."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

All you'd expect in a British car!

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

"See what I mean, it keeps making funny noises."

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

'I think I found your missing nut.'

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

The Rarely Seen Gas-Powered Eel

"One CC of lubricant after meals, okay?"

'Try it now.'

"Yup, brakes are shot. Lemme check to see if I have any size ten in stock."

"Just what I thought... Bad shock absorbers."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders.

Electric Car Giving Driver Static.

'M.O.T. certificate?!...a death certificate's the best I can do.'

Car Carriage

Unnatural Food-nuts and bolts, sale on junk foods, rusty nuts, bolts, and screws.

"I agree, it's a lot of bang for the buck. And thumping, whining, clicking, clacking, clanging, grinding, buzzing and rattling."

"With some rest, vitamins and mild exercise, that metal fatigue should clear up in just a few weeks!"

Hell's elevator/Up to no good.

Windscreen replacement

"Yes, we do make car loans, but you CAN'T borrow my car."