Meat Selection Gifts

"We have our round cuts and these are our budget cuts."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Steak Ted?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

Important Food Groups

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

Cow of BEEF

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Platter confusion.

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"Hmmm... what would Scooby Doo?"

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

"Oooh... bacon!"

I don

Family Butcher.

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

*=Hotdog

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."