Meat Choice Contemplator Gifts

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Steak Ted?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

Important Food Groups

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

Cow of BEEF

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Platter confusion.

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

"Oooh... bacon!"

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

Family Butcher.

*=Hotdog

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'