Meat Grading Enthusiast Gifts

A meat counter is divided between 'Delicious,' 'Not bad,' and 'Edible.'"

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Important Food Groups

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

"Bad news, sir. The public isn't buying our new Pork Ala King."

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

*=Hotdog

Family Butcher.

I assure you the animals didn't suffer. All of our meat comes from animals who died naturally of old age while vacationing in Miami.

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

"I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman but, hang on a minute, I'm pretty sure I have the heart and stomach of a king, too..."

"Just remember...the main ingredient in all my dishes is love."

Down on Her.

"Veal or non-veal?"

Pigs at butcher: 'One day son, all this will be you..'

"Appetizer is almost done."

"You'd think over the years one or two of them would catch on."

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."

The Butcher of 35th street.

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

Nothing sweeter than seeing an old couple holding hams.