Meat Industry Gifts

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'I overheard the farmer say I have a future at McDonalds.'

'I'm amazed they had ANY meat in them.'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

The bad news is that there was an accident yesterday. The good news is that the sausages are free today.'

"You are going to be very popular in the near future."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

"Sir, surely it's irresponsible to be throwing away so much edible food?"

Down on Her.

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

Loyd Grossman

Angry Bulls about to try out their version of Butchering on an unsuspecting Butcher

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

Prime Meats.

"A foot bath after a long hard day at work is really nice!"

Processed foods, unprocessed foods.

'Acme Meat - meat products, bi-products, and bi-product spinoffs...'

'But darling, he doesn't kill the cows.'

"Apparently we're reared by people who share the values of the people who eat us."

'Getting above yourself for a short order cook, aren't you?'

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."

Mexican Seasoning Mix Mines / Polynesian Sauce Works

"It's a shame, I once had a large steak in that company."

'Yeah, I know, but let's face it - we're delicious!'

"Wonderful - this will be the absolute best popcorn anyone has ever seen."