Meat Production Ponderer Gifts

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

Idle parts

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

'U.S. Manufacturing'

Air Pollution Threat

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

'Are you sure its a purbred?'

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

"Who's next?"

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"This is going to ruin my ratio of protein to vegetables."

Fruits and vegetables

"Sorry I'm late. It took me forever to find this place."

'It's always so sad when they repossess.'

This could be interesting...

"You know, lentils have twice as much protein per serving."

Square root of chicken is egg.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Banking

'Milton, you really did make it to the other side!'

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

Wow! — this discredits all my theories.

'Happy Xmas!'

"I don't mind being butchered. But I can't stand the thought of my legs going in one box, my breast in another, my wings in another. . ."

"You're all on rations, due to the ironic rise in the cost of chicken feed."

'Mom, it's doing it again'

Hmmm... what's my real purpose? Why am I here? - 'Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Let me guess!' - 'Go on, then.' - 'Is your life a homage mediocrity?' - 'Ouch.' - 'Quizzes are fun! Ask me more!' -