Animal Testing Ponderer Gifts

"Sorry I'm late. It took me forever to find this place."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

'...at least it's done something for our image.'

Human meat.

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

"So Dennis, Daphne tells us you work for Delta Medical Research Laboraties."

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

Fish Food

Walking on Water

'Are you sure its a purbred?'

"I love the part when they scream, 'Hey! That's no log!'..."

'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

'Nuff said.

'We're going on a little vacation, and we were wondering if you folks would mind taking care of Spot.'

Scientist resembles mouse. He says: 'It's amazing to think that we share 99 per cent of the same genes.'

"I want my job back."

"Shouldn't we hold off an artificial intelligence until we figure out actual intelligence?"

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"

He's at that confusing stage between chasing his own tail or the mail carrier's.

'I bark, therefore I am.'

"I'm beginning to think I'm the only one without a dog."

"We're not so different, you and I."

"Wait, THEY think WE'RE gross?"

'No doubt about it. As long as they don't understand the concept of medicine, the placebo won't work.

"Is it too late to get a puppy?"