Meal Perfectionist T-Shirts

"Excuse me-I think there's something wrong with this in a tiny way that no one other than me would ever be able to pinpoint."

'Mine was stone cold.'

The wonderful world of cheese.

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Under pressure.

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

"And not only do I make my own pizza sauce, I have a special way of crushing the tomatoes!"

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

'If they rise they're scones. If not they're pancakes.'

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

Food Pyramid

Staycation Photos

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

'I told you I only cook with my mother's Italian spices. She just left Naples and should be here with them in about eight hours.'

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

"At what point did my Boeuf Bourguignonne become a pejorative beef stew?"

Pizzaiolo

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

All I can say is, thank goodness for nametags. Penne. Bowtie. Ziti. Fettuccini. Rotini. Campanelle.

'He was taller online!'

Antonio Carluccio.

Your online profile only lists positive things about you. Of course, a "profile" only shows one side of a person.

"In all my years of teaching I've never seen pizza dough spun into a triangle!"