Culinary Perfectionist T-Shirts

"At what point did my Boeuf Bourguignonne become a pejorative beef stew?"

"I asked for rare, but it's well done. I think it's time to get out of New York."

"I forgot to put bay leaf in the red beans and no one even noticed."

'No...No, this is the recipe book, these are the regulations!'

'Noooo! You idiot! For crying out loud! Sear it first! Then a slow oven.'

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

You're the puff in my pastry!

Picking pastries.

Under pressure.

Baking

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

Culinary surgery.

Cookery Lesson.

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

Cereal Tasting.

'Hard or soft science?'

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

I Heart Dinosaurs Chef

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

Mediterranean Martini

"And not only do I make my own pizza sauce, I have a special way of crushing the tomatoes!"

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

Paul Bocuse caricature

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

I Bake. Deal with it.