Kitchen Perfectionist T-Shirts

Staycation Photos

'I told you I only cook with my mother's Italian spices. She just left Naples and should be here with them in about eight hours.'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

You're the puff in my pastry!

Picking pastries.

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Under pressure.

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

Baking

Grandma's caf

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

Cookery Lesson.

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

'Mine was stone cold.'

American Pastry

'I don't understand it - there was a little pile of solar dust from Advanced Composition Explorer right here a moment ago.'

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

Come dine with me!

I Bake. Deal with it.

Thank you for the wedding present.

'Well, it WAS a pretty coffee table until Dave spilled coffee on it!'

Food Pyramid

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"We got a report that you're rolling in dough."