Pantry Perfectionist T-Shirts

"And then in Italy Paola's collection of canned tomatoes is unrivaled"

'My wife's oil reserves.'

You're the puff in my pastry!

Picking pastries.

Under pressure.

Baking

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

Fragile stamper.

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

Cookery Lesson.

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'I think you've put that in the wrong place.'

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

'Mine was stone cold.'

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

Staycation Photos

Food Pyramid

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

'I told you I only cook with my mother's Italian spices. She just left Naples and should be here with them in about eight hours.'

Come dine with me!

I Bake. Deal with it.

American Pastry

"We got a report that you're rolling in dough."

"And that's when I realized that I much preferred making frothy desserts."

"I need a teeny tiny handbag so I don't have to stow away my husband's wallet, phone and reading glasses."

'Next day to the coast! You must be nuts!'

Here's one I made earlier.

'This course is a great ego builder.'

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.

"At what point did my Boeuf Bourguignonne become a pejorative beef stew?"

Antonio Carluccio.

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

All I can say is, thank goodness for nametags. Penne. Bowtie. Ziti. Fettuccini. Rotini. Campanelle.

"I never go anywhere unprepared!"