Plate Perfectionist T-Shirts

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

'Dad's teaching me about the all-you-can-eat buffet line and how to get the most out of each trip.'

'What do I recommend?.. Now you're talking.|

'Dunno. It lacks something.'

Sunny side up eggs

The wonderful world of cheese.

You're the puff in my pastry!

Picking pastries.

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

Baking

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

'Quick, press control Z!'

Cookery Lesson.

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

'In,' 'Out' and 'Organize.'

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

Writer

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Poetry repairman

Deadlines, Inc.

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

I Bake. Deal with it.

Come dine with me!