Plate Perfectionist Gifts

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

'Dad's teaching me about the all-you-can-eat buffet line and how to get the most out of each trip.'

'What do I recommend?.. Now you're talking.|

'Dunno. It lacks something.'

Sunny side up eggs

The wonderful world of cheese.

You're the puff in my pastry!

Picking pastries.

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

Baking

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

Cookery Lesson.

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

'In,' 'Out' and 'Organize.'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'Quick, press control Z!'

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Deadlines, Inc.

Writer

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Poetry repairman

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

"I think deep down he's really pleased the union has a female head for the first time..."

Come dine with me!

I Bake. Deal with it.

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

American Pastry