Maturity Musings Gifts

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

"So, what do you do for play?"

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

"Junior's moved back home! It took him less than a week to work out that the grass is not always greener on the other side..."

Mental baggage, a brain with a handle for easy carrying.

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

"I didn't start seriously accessorizing until my mid-thirties."

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

'I must be growing up. I've caught myself washing my hands without being told to.'

Stuff nervous little dogs yap about.

"My father would never let me marry a boy with a combover."

'I must be getting old. I've stopped trying to come up with ways to drive you crazy.'

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

'Son, I think you're old enough now to know about the birds and the fleas.'

'I must be getting older. I tried to make an adorable remark to mom yesterday, and it came out all smart-alecky.'

'Nobody believes a word I say!' 'Oh, come now!'

"Dad, I've been thinking it might make things better between us if I just called you Ed."

'If there is an unlimited supply of something....mortality is that it make our time finite....I think I'll poop on this guy's head.'

"Good news, mom and dad! It took 20 years, but I finally over my 'I know more than you' phase."

'I keep thinking about teaching.'

'Dave's really over-reacting about turning forty.'

Immature Cheese

"No, we're not getting any younger, but why, pray tell, is that such a revelation to us?"

"Tell me more about this inferiority complex."

'Mumsie, Billy called me a snob... can I sue him?'

Nethead strip: Psycho analyst

'Of course I've become more mature since you started treating me. You've been at it since I was 14 years old.'

"The adult diapers I understand, but the adult binky..."