Maturation Gifts

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

"So, what do you do for play?"

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

"Junior's moved back home! It took him less than a week to work out that the grass is not always greener on the other side..."

"I didn't start seriously accessorizing until my mid-thirties."

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

'I must be growing up. I've caught myself washing my hands without being told to.'

'I must be getting old. I've stopped trying to come up with ways to drive you crazy.'

"My father would never let me marry a boy with a combover."

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

'Son, I think you're old enough now to know about the birds and the fleas.'

"Dad, I've been thinking it might make things better between us if I just called you Ed."

'I must be getting older. I tried to make an adorable remark to mom yesterday, and it came out all smart-alecky.'

"Good news, mom and dad! It took 20 years, but I finally over my 'I know more than you' phase."

'I must be growing up. I took a bath without being told to.'

'Firstly Madame, the Green Grocer is across the road and secondly that should explain why your 'bananas' are vibrating...!'

Immature Cheese

'Mumsie, Billy called me a snob... can I sue him?'

"At least when it comes to Mother of the Year - you're a shoe-in."

'Of course I've become more mature since you started treating me. You've been at it since I was 14 years old.'

"The adult diapers I understand, but the adult binky..."

"And when I became a man, I put away childish thingees. Thingamabobs. Whatever."

'It just so happens that I LIKE shows geared to a 12-year-old mentality!'