Mature Beyond Years Gifts

"So, what do you do for play?"

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"Junior's moved back home! It took him less than a week to work out that the grass is not always greener on the other side..."

"Decide who you are, Wanona, before you buy sheets."

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

"If being normal is so natural.....why is it such a strain?"

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

"I didn't start seriously accessorizing until my mid-thirties."

'I must be growing up. I've caught myself washing my hands without being told to.'

"My father would never let me marry a boy with a combover."

'Son, I think you're old enough now to know about the birds and the fleas.'

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

"Good news, mom and dad! It took 20 years, but I finally over my 'I know more than you' phase."

'I must be getting older. I tried to make an adorable remark to mom yesterday, and it came out all smart-alecky.'

"Dad, I've been thinking it might make things better between us if I just called you Ed."

'Mumsie, Billy called me a snob... can I sue him?'

Immature Cheese

'Firstly Madame, the Green Grocer is across the road and secondly that should explain why your 'bananas' are vibrating...!'

"This time you can start over without the hubris of youth."

'I don't date them until they have a free bus pass - saves money on a night out...'

"And when I became a man, I put away childish thingees. Thingamabobs. Whatever."

Confidences of a Mature Siren.

"I hope when I grow up I'll have an amicable divorce."

'It's true that whiskey improves with age: the older I get, the more I like it.'

There comes a time when every horse girl... becomes a horse woman.

'What kind of crazy nonsense is that? It sounds like you've been listening to your inner adult again!'

I'm young, yes, but not at heart