Maturity Marvel Gifts

'I must be getting old. I've stopped trying to come up with ways to drive you crazy.'

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

Math Camp. I should have read the brochure more carefully before I signed up -- It says "Go on an add-venture and have sum fun"!

Batman's Baby

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

'Very impressive, Newcombe. Over at Liberal Arts we still have trouble with the multiplication table.'

Hares looking at Euclid

"Junior's moved back home! It took him less than a week to work out that the grass is not always greener on the other side..."

"Triple whammy."

You're only young once but apparently there's no limit on childish. (Published originally on January 15, 2008.)

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

Clown umbilical cord is made of party balloons.

Magician creates magic square

"Have you ever heard the saying, 'Two heads are better than one'?"

'I must be growing up. I've caught myself washing my hands without being told to.'

'He's the father of the entire first row.'

"You forgot to carry the one."

"42 is not the answer to everything, Adams!"

"Hey, Siri, is it too late to threaten my parents with running away from home?"

"My father would never let me marry a boy with a combover."

'Son, I think you're old enough now to know about the birds and the fleas.'

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

"Dad, I've been thinking it might make things better between us if I just called you Ed."

"If only it was that simple."

"I'm bored."

'Every once in a while my right brain throws something in.'

Grow up, Slim.

'I must be getting older. I tried to make an adorable remark to mom yesterday, and it came out all smart-alecky.'

"Good news, mom and dad! It took 20 years, but I finally over my 'I know more than you' phase."

Marcie's inner child chose an unfortunate moment to emerge.

"I just got these new glasses from my ophthalmologist – they come with tiny windshield wipers to clean the fog from my mask!"

'No batteries needed, but you have to be menopausal to make them work.'

'What's come over Heisenberg? He seems to certain about everything these days.'