Maturity Explorer Gifts

'Of course I've become more mature since you started treating me. You've been at it since I was 14 years old.'

"The adult diapers I understand, but the adult binky..."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

The Map of the human brain

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Sigmund Freud.

The Age of Reptiles. . .

"I shop, therefore I am."

Unguided imagery

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

"Have you tried just giving your head a shake?"

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"OK, now what?"

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

'There is nothing physically wrong. It needs a psychiatrist.'

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Don't step on the blacks or the nasty bogie man will get you!"

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'