Maturity Explorer T-Shirts

'Of course I've become more mature since you started treating me. You've been at it since I was 14 years old.'

"The adult diapers I understand, but the adult binky..."

Is there anything worse than the aging process? The thing that comes after the aging process.

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

The Map of the human brain

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Sigmund Freud.

"I shop, therefore I am."

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Unguided imagery

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

"Have you tried just giving your head a shake?"

"OK, now what?"

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

Menopause and the City

'There is nothing physically wrong. It needs a psychiatrist.'

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"Don't step on the blacks or the nasty bogie man will get you!"

Midlife: You Are Here.

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'