Midlife Explorers T-Shirts

'I worked very hard and finally got to the top of the ladder... only to find that I'd leaned it against the wrong wall.'

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"Your contents have shifted."

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

Lawrence of Suburbia

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

"It's official, Michael has filed for moral bankruptcy."

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo

"I used to be innocent. Then I was naive. Now I'm just dumb."

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

'In denial and loving it!'

A sign hangs from the front of the Sunnyvale Nudist Camp - 'Join Today - 100% Off!'

'My husband is one of those born again bikers.'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."