Midlife Exploration T-Shirts

"Believe me, I've lost more than my mittens."

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

ZZZZZZZ Top

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

Menopause and the City

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Altar Ego

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "