Mid-life Explorer T-Shirts

"There goes my ex-husband and his Mid-Life crisis!"

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

"...as the devices were nestled on their chargers with care,..."

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

Lawrence of Suburbia

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo

"It's official, Michael has filed for moral bankruptcy."

Danger Quicksand

People crossing the street while texting use white canes.

"I love talking to you about my problems. We should do a podcast."

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

'Oversensitive Car Alarm'

'In denial and loving it!'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."