Middle-age Explorer T-Shirts

Tarzan's mid-life crisis.

"I'd like to have money for a sports car, a surf course in the Maldives, and for my divorce!"

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

J. R. R. Tolkien

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

New Age Store.

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Duel in a wheelchair.

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

Magic Ring to gain entry into Tolkien Archive

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

Pubertry

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

Lawrence of Suburbia

"He's a very alternative vicar - he's installed wind chimes.'

Californians Abroad.

I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to

'Dad, what were you like when you weren't a kid?'

He comes by sometimes to tell me he quit my job, bought a convertible and is going to open a brewpub. Midlife crisis actor.

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