Middle-age Navigator T-Shirts

'I'm not that concerned about my prostate ... I'm still trying to survive my wife's menopause.'

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

"Your contents have shifted."

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

Long before the GPS, traveling humans found their way around by using an Atlas.

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

Menopause and the City

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Parkinson Ave - Alzheimer Drive

You Know You're Old When...

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

"I used to be innocent. Then I was naive. Now I'm just dumb."

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

'In denial and loving it!'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

'You know you're 40 when...'

'No pep, shaky, noisy, overheating. Right. Anything wrong with the car?'

The eyebrow come over and the nose hair mustache.

'Just give her a chance to cool down. It's probably hormonal.'

"I think we took a wrong turn in Albuquerque."

Four Stages of Boyhood

Nicky had a feeling that they had missed the turn off for Route 66 and somehow ended up on Route 69.

You are here.

"I'm 'The Drunk Divorced Overweight Chain-Smoking Middle Aged Man.' 'The Wise Man' is on the next peak."

"Have you got it in beige?"

7 Dwarves of Midlife.

'He's decided not to have a mid life crisis-he thinks it could be too expensive.'

Recalculating!