Midlife Navigators T-Shirts

"Oh, that's just the pedestal your father used to put me on."

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"Your contents have shifted."

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

Parkinson Ave - Alzheimer Drive

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

Cyber Fight

"I used to be innocent. Then I was naive. Now I'm just dumb."

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

'Jeremy, why can't we talk instead of you bottling things up all the time?'

A sign hangs from the front of the Sunnyvale Nudist Camp - 'Join Today - 100% Off!'

'Inform him I dislike it when he uses the dog to communicate.'

"Are you trying to tell me something, dearest?"

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."