Aging Navigator T-Shirts

Parkinson Ave - Alzheimer Drive

"Your contents have shifted."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Weird things I do because of the internet

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

Breast Height Chart

Better times ahead.

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

Menopause and the City

Midlife: You Are Here.

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Wiseguys/Smartasses/Eggheads/Smarty Pants

Doubt or Certainy

You Know You're Old When...

This morning I found a thin hair growing out of my knuckle. And so it ends. Your virility, your potential, your conviction, your magnetism, your youth itself

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

"You kids are losing your ability to communicate person-to-person...so we're having a good old-fashioned family talk!"

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"I was pretty highly respected until email came along."

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

You're only young once but apparently there's no limit on childish. (Published originally on January 15, 2008.)

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

'Data, data everywhere!'