Middle-age Navigator Pillows

'I'm not that concerned about my prostate ... I'm still trying to survive my wife's menopause.'

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

"Your contents have shifted."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Parkinson Ave - Alzheimer Drive

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

You Know You're Old When...

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

"I used to be innocent. Then I was naive. Now I'm just dumb."

'In denial and loving it!'

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

'You know you're 40 when...'

'No pep, shaky, noisy, overheating. Right. Anything wrong with the car?'

'Just give her a chance to cool down. It's probably hormonal.'

The eyebrow come over and the nose hair mustache.

"I think we took a wrong turn in Albuquerque."

You are here.

Nicky had a feeling that they had missed the turn off for Route 66 and somehow ended up on Route 69.

"Have you got it in beige?"

Four Stages of Boyhood

"I'm 'The Drunk Divorced Overweight Chain-Smoking Middle Aged Man.' 'The Wise Man' is on the next peak."

'He's decided not to have a mid life crisis-he thinks it could be too expensive.'

Recalculating!

'It's time for your crisis.'

Hello, dear! Remember 1968?