Coming-of-age Navigator Pillows

"Are you properly qualified to give advice on this Dad?"

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

'I'm just using this while my monster truck is in the shop.'

Seriously, Bob, your map reading skills leave a lot to be desired!'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

Parkinson Ave - Alzheimer Drive

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

You Know You're Old When...

Pubertry

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

"I'll make a deal with you! If you stop singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat, I'll help you finish your requirements!"

'I know we're not 'almost there,' but I keep asking just to keep her focused.'

Climate Change Contingency House

"I wouldn't worry, at his age grunting to communicate is quite normal."

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"My mom says I'll behaving a growing spurt, so I'll grow into these clothes soon."

'Well, Mr. 'Let's get him a fish they're no trouble at all,' you're on.'

"I feel sorry for kids these days - they're always being tested for something"

"I think we took a wrong turn in Albuquerque."

"Nothing makes me feel so old as having to scroll down and down to find my year of birth."

'Vocabulary doesn't seem that hard 'til you start trying to use it on girls.'

Nicky had a feeling that they had missed the turn off for Route 66 and somehow ended up on Route 69.

You are here.

"Life"

'We are giving that kid too much pocket money.'

Unfinished Business/Mission Accomplished

Roads for Graduates

'I'm not that concerned about my prostate ... I'm still trying to survive my wife's menopause.'