Teen Navigator Pillows

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

'He's moody, cynical, lazy and talks back. Harriet, it's just not easy raising the dead.'

'Your father and I would rather you didn't go out tonight,Jessica dear!'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

'I'm just using this while my monster truck is in the shop.'

Seriously, Bob, your map reading skills leave a lot to be desired!'

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

'If you are here, you'll be late for gym class."

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"

"I like to consider Third Grade as just another life hack."

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

'I know we're not 'almost there,' but I keep asking just to keep her focused.'

"I'll make a deal with you! If you stop singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat, I'll help you finish your requirements!"

'But Mom, can't I just skip puberty and go straight to mid-life crisis?'

"I wouldn't worry, at his age grunting to communicate is quite normal."

'I like you and all, Adam, but I'm 'Graphic Novel' and you're just so 'Comic Bookie'.'

"Daddy's still up - I can see him loading his shotgun."

'Well, Mr. 'Let's get him a fish they're no trouble at all,' you're on.'

'That's my dad...Director of Homeland Security.'

"Tunnel of 'Like-Like'"

"I feel sorry for kids these days - they're always being tested for something"

'Vocabulary doesn't seem that hard 'til you start trying to use it on girls.'

'We are giving that kid too much pocket money.'

'Dad gave up teaching me how to drive...I drove him nuts.'

"Why didn't you spring for a proper G.P.S.?"

"Mom, how many more years until I reach that awkward age?"

Pier Pressure

"You're about to enter a semi-autonomous region of this house."

Teenager sitting at desk with in/out tray which read:'I want' and 'Not fair'

Surroundsound

"Looks like the kids have gone off to college. Let's grab a few years alone in the house before they decide to return."

American visitor complaining that England wasn't what she imagined