Awkward Teen Navigator Pillows

'Vocabulary doesn't seem that hard 'til you start trying to use it on girls.'

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

Department of Nanotechnology

Seriously, Bob, your map reading skills leave a lot to be desired!'

Nethead strip: Speak binary

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"

"I like to consider Third Grade as just another life hack."

The Math Institute √π*962.9 KM

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

"I told you it was too soon to give him The Talk."

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

'But Mom, can't I just skip puberty and go straight to mid-life crisis?'

"Try to play with a kid whose parent isn't too chatty."

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

"I feel sorry for kids these days - they're always being tested for something"

"Nothing makes me feel so old as having to scroll down and down to find my year of birth."

'My date last night was a 10. Of course, I'm using the binary system.'

"The kids got candy and all I got were disturbed looks."

'Dad gave up teaching me how to drive...I drove him nuts.'

Intelligent Navigation Device...

"You're about to enter a semi-autonomous region of this house."

'Your father and I would rather you didn't go out tonight,Jessica dear!'

"My last dog always too a right there."

Kid on the way to pricipal's office see a girl in the hall with a stand setup to give legal advice.

Teenager sitting at desk with in/out tray which read:'I want' and 'Not fair'

Geek mythology

Surroundsound

"Looks like the kids have gone off to college. Let's grab a few years alone in the house before they decide to return."