Awkward Teen Navigator Pillows

'Vocabulary doesn't seem that hard 'til you start trying to use it on girls.'

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

Department of Nanotechnology

Seriously, Bob, your map reading skills leave a lot to be desired!'

Nethead strip: Speak binary

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

The Math Institute √π*962.9 KM

"I like to consider Third Grade as just another life hack."

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

"I told you it was too soon to give him The Talk."

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

'But Mom, can't I just skip puberty and go straight to mid-life crisis?'

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

"Try to play with a kid whose parent isn't too chatty."

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

"I feel sorry for kids these days - they're always being tested for something"

"Nothing makes me feel so old as having to scroll down and down to find my year of birth."

'My date last night was a 10. Of course, I'm using the binary system.'

"The kids got candy and all I got were disturbed looks."

'Dad gave up teaching me how to drive...I drove him nuts.'

"My last dog always too a right there."

"You're about to enter a semi-autonomous region of this house."

Intelligent Navigation Device...

'Your father and I would rather you didn't go out tonight,Jessica dear!'

Kid on the way to pricipal's office see a girl in the hall with a stand setup to give legal advice.

Teenager sitting at desk with in/out tray which read:'I want' and 'Not fair'

Surroundsound

"It's one of life's great rules...do something great once and you'll hear about it forever. Do something great all the time and you're just another overachieving brainiac."

"Looks like the kids have gone off to college. Let's grab a few years alone in the house before they decide to return."