Age-conscious Navigator Pillows

You Know You're Old When...

"Your contents have shifted."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Weird things I do because of the internet

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

Menopause and the City

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Parkinson Ave - Alzheimer Drive

Get ready ... Get set ...

"You kids are losing your ability to communicate person-to-person...so we're having a good old-fashioned family talk!"

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

"I was pretty highly respected until email came along."

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

'Data, data everywhere!'

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

'Well we don't have to worry about paying for the boat anymore.This is our final notice.'

"I'll make a deal with you! If you stop singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat, I'll help you finish your requirements!"

"I used to be innocent. Then I was naive. Now I'm just dumb."

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

"Technology's taken the romance out of off-shore banking."

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"I wouldn't worry, at his age grunting to communicate is quite normal."

'Maybe next year Santa will bring you the software.'

"I'd say my greatest personal achievement would be 93 Likes."

"You give your kid an allownace, plus a tech support fee? And I thought I was the only one."

'No pep, shaky, noisy, overheating. Right. Anything wrong with the car?'