Midlife Musings Explorer T-Shirts

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

Albert & Myra - The End Story

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

Lawrence of Suburbia

'Don't know what's wrong with it. Just doesn't seem to attract women anymore.'

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo

'Dad, what were you like when you weren't a kid?'

I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to

"It's official, Michael has filed for moral bankruptcy."

He comes by sometimes to tell me he quit my job, bought a convertible and is going to open a brewpub. Midlife crisis actor.

Parkour for the over-40s.

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

'In denial and loving it!'

A sign hangs from the front of the Sunnyvale Nudist Camp - 'Join Today - 100% Off!'

'FYI, Stevens, nobody likes a middle-aged slacker.'

'Why couldn't your father have a normal midlife crisis, buy a convertible, or even have an affair with some young bimbo?'

'My husband is one of those born again bikers.'

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."