Midlife Musings Explorer Gifts

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

Lawrence of Suburbia

'Don't know what's wrong with it. Just doesn't seem to attract women anymore.'

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo

"It's official, Michael has filed for moral bankruptcy."

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

'In denial and loving it!'

A sign hangs from the front of the Sunnyvale Nudist Camp - 'Join Today - 100% Off!'

'Why couldn't your father have a normal midlife crisis, buy a convertible, or even have an affair with some young bimbo?'

'FYI, Stevens, nobody likes a middle-aged slacker.'

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

'My husband is one of those born again bikers.'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

"I can't tell if I feel tired because I'm older, or I feel older because I'm tired."