Mattress Company Ceo Gifts

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

"Intrapreneuring chief- how about a glass on the house?"

"We can't agree on a size."

The Mattress Savings Bank

'Today a ray of hope . . .'

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

Mattress makers picketing in front of factory are sleepwalking.

'Perhaps you'd like to try something a little firmer, madam?'

"I'll tell you how I got here - hours and hours of hard visualization."

'Well, you always said that if you became CEO you'd like to live in a gated community.'

"A secure and restful sleep is guaranteed when this mattress is stuffed with your own money."

"I was a mattress tester, but was fired for oversleeping and being late for work."

"The Firminator. One inch of foam over cement blocks."

'It's come to my attention that you haven't been sleeping on the job.'

Mattress salesmen are creepy. Especially the ones that lie down on the bed with you.

Surfer on his mobile phone.

"Firm yet comfortable, with 420 individual spring posture coils to enhance support. Perfect for hiding under."

'I won't be coming to see you again. I've purchased a therapeutic mattress.'

The domino effect.

"I guess you should have read the fine print on that tag before you ripped it off the mattress."

Water bed.

"Maybe we shouldn't have chosen to buy the super springy mattress!"

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

"Oh no, we've got a jumper!"

"It's more than just a mattress. It's a great place to rest your weary assets."

"Uh, sir...madam...the sign just meant for customers to sit or lay on the mattress to see how comfortable...oh my!"

The Princess and the Pea

"I drink to forget."