Mattress Company Ceo Gifts

'With you being the president of a mattress company, I can imagine this is going to be quite an adjustment for you,'

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

"Intrapreneuring chief- how about a glass on the house?"

"We can't agree on a size."

The Mattress Savings Bank

LEGO profits.

'Today a ray of hope . . .'

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

Mattress makers picketing in front of factory are sleepwalking.

'Perhaps you'd like to try something a little firmer, madam?'

"I'll tell you how I got here - hours and hours of hard visualization."

'Well, you always said that if you became CEO you'd like to live in a gated community.'

"A secure and restful sleep is guaranteed when this mattress is stuffed with your own money."

Your friend, Ernie, is an impressive, multi-talented guy! He's been a actor in the theater, in archeologist, and now he's a diplomat! He hasn't been any of those things. He used to install doors. Oh, he told me he was "applauded for his entrances." And he was an inspector, book for expired yogurt, at the dairy warehouse. He said he "searcher for ancient cultures." Now he sells mattresses. You think he's a diplomat? Yeah, he told me he's "devoted to eliminating unrest in the world"

"I was a mattress tester, but was fired for oversleeping and being late for work."

"Counting sheep is the quickest way to fall asleep...and with this sheep number mattress, you can say 'BAA-BAA' to sheepless nights forever."

"The Firminator. One inch of foam over cement blocks."

'It's come to my attention that you haven't been sleeping on the job.'

Mattress salesmen are creepy. Especially the ones that lie down on the bed with you.

Surfer on his mobile phone.

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

"Maybe we shouldn't have chosen to buy the super springy mattress!"

The domino effect.

'I won't be coming to see you again. I've purchased a therapeutic mattress.'

"Firm yet comfortable, with 420 individual spring posture coils to enhance support. Perfect for hiding under."

"We've got just the thing for someone your age...all our mattresses are made with memory foam."

"I guess you should have read the fine print on that tag before you ripped it off the mattress."

"Oh no, we've got a jumper!"

Water bed.

"It's more than just a mattress. It's a great place to rest your weary assets."

"Uh, sir...madam...the sign just meant for customers to sit or lay on the mattress to see how comfortable...oh my!"

"I drink to forget."