Math Phobic Gifts

"Step One: Admit you have a problem."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'Uhhh... Houston, we have a problem.'

Pi Ala Mode.

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

I.T. Fear

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

Graduation Speech.

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

"I love the equation that describes the slope of your nose."

"Well, I can't figure it out either. Do we know anyone that can help us with math homework?"

'I've discovered a talking amoeba!' '2+2=4, 5-4=1, 93=3.' SMASH 'I wanted to get it before it multiplied.'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

I love maths.

'By the second week of instruction all first-graders should be able to count to one.'

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

'Remember, a breakthrough is not a breakthrough unless you have some good P.R. for it.'

Lesser Known Digits of Pi

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

"OMG!"

"I don't ever want you taken away, son. Never get into subtraction."