Math Phobic Gifts

"Step One: Admit you have a problem."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'Uhhh... Houston, we have a problem.'

Pi Ala Mode.

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

I.T. Fear

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'

Graduation Speech.

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

Museum. They were an ancient culture that worshipped the concept of zero. "Nothing" was sacred.

"I love the equation that describes the slope of your nose."

"Well, I can't figure it out either. Do we know anyone that can help us with math homework?"

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

Recession mathematical equation.

'I've discovered a talking amoeba!' '2+2=4, 5-4=1, 93=3.' SMASH 'I wanted to get it before it multiplied.'

I love maths.

'By the second week of instruction all first-graders should be able to count to one.'

E=MC2, 'You think you're pretty smart, don't you?'

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

'Remember, a breakthrough is not a breakthrough unless you have some good P.R. for it.'

"OMG!"

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

Solve for x x r 2.

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

''Relativity,' you say? — Well, it can't be any worse than your 'speed bump' theory.'

Lesser Known Digits of Pi

"I don't ever want you taken away, son. Never get into subtraction."