Math-phobe Gifts

'I'm not counting the days 'til Christmas. I don't do arithmetic unless they make me.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

'But I digress...'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

'Uhhh... Houston, we have a problem.'

Pi Ala Mode.

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

New Road Signs to Watch For:

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"I know it may be wrong, but it's how I feel."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"Or we could tally the sheep like this."

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'Maths is fun!'

'190 divided by two...'

Graduation Speech.

When Cells Divide

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

Mr. Defner's drive-in algebra class was retro cool, controversial and somewhat effective.

Common Core Family Therapy

"That was Copernicus on the phone – he says you're NOT the centre of the universe!"