Math-a-phobics Gifts

Mathematics

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

I.T. Fear

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

Professor treating acronyms like formulae.

Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

'Sorry, but I had trouble with train story-problems in math, when I was a kid too.'

I don't need to know any math --- I'm going to be a politician.

"Pi and mash squared please."

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

Cats are not as intelligent as you think.

'Everyone says 'business is business' - But has anyone ever checked the math on that?'

"For her birthday I bought my wife an abacus...

A Wrecked-angle.

'Assuming, of course, that a woodchuck could chuck wood.'

Having conducted a survey of 32.4% of the 56.6% of tax experts about 43% of the budget we found an 87.6% probability that we haven't got the foggiest ideas of what it means.

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

'According to the previous exercise's logic, this time the result must be six.'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty to tax evasion by reason of math phobia.'

'Yes, Winklestein, that is a very nice drawing of a little cat.'

Zorro does algebra.

"Oh Johnny, I like you but not in that way. I'm a platonic solid."

'In the real world there is no such thing as algebra.'

'I'll tell you why math is important - it lets us count the days till school's out!'

The dog that does the homework...

"I like it warm, but this is ridiculous!"

"My smartphone is being repaired. I'm afraid I've forgotten how to count on my fingers."