Math-a-phobics Gifts

Mathematics

I.T. Fear

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'Sorry, but I had trouble with train story-problems in math, when I was a kid too.'

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

Cats are not as intelligent as you think.

A Wrecked-angle.

"For her birthday I bought my wife an abacus...

'Everyone says 'business is business' - But has anyone ever checked the math on that?'

'Assuming, of course, that a woodchuck could chuck wood.'

Having conducted a survey of 32.4% of the 56.6% of tax experts about 43% of the budget we found an 87.6% probability that we haven't got the foggiest ideas of what it means.

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

'According to the previous exercise's logic, this time the result must be six.'

"Oh Johnny, I like you but not in that way. I'm a platonic solid."

'Yes, Winklestein, that is a very nice drawing of a little cat.'

Zorro does algebra.

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty to tax evasion by reason of math phobia.'

'In the real world there is no such thing as algebra.'

"You've learned about perfect numbers and irrational numbers, but have you ever seen angry numbers?"

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty to tax evasion by reason of math phobia.'

The dog that does the homework...

"My smartphone is being repaired. I'm afraid I've forgotten how to count on my fingers."

'I'll tell you why math is important - it lets us count the days till school's out!'