Arithmophobic Adventurer Gifts

'According to the previous exercise's logic, this time the result must be six.'

Crab with a clown face.

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"Frank, I need your help. The computers are down, but I was told you know how to multiply two numbers together."

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

Gerald's first ever date remains on track.

'Sorry, but I had trouble with train story-problems in math, when I was a kid too.'

'It's not an accounting breakthrough, Sam. It's wrong.'

"I should have paid more attention in math class."

"Ice rink"

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."

No crawling sign in the desert.

'So where do you see yourself in five years?'

The plumber asks out the cable lady.

"I've about had it with Math. Yesterday the teacher said that 3 and 4 made seven. . . today she said 5 and 2 did!"

I Hate Alphabet Soup.

A Please Wipe Your Feet mat with words mixed up at the Dyslexic clinic.

'I don't know anything about art and I don't know what I like.'

Socially awkward shipwrecks.

'Well my Mom made me wear it, so she could distinguish me from six when we're jumping.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Three Pointless Things To Do This Week: Dig a Tunnel/Say Hello To Your Breakfast/Take a Tube to Clapham Common.

Mathematics

'I tried to call the math hotline, but predictably, I got the wrong number.'

"Since the test is on fractions, I didn't think you would mind if I got a portion of them wrong."

"I'm into painting with my feet"