Math Masters Gifts

The war against ignorance

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

Pi Ala Mode.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'Recalculating...recalculating...'

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"It's called geometry, Mum."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

'Maths is fun!'

Graduation Speech.

Counting part time employees is the new math.

When Cells Divide

'Shouldn't we spend a little time on the ARTS?'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Something just didn't add up."

Staff Yearbook

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

Information booth attendant solves equation

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

"Don't blame me for the grade, blame Google's algorithms."

Math Teacher