Math Mentor Gifts

"I address all of Daniel's spelling and long-division needs."

'Before you say anything, remember the educational importance of self-esteem.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

Pi Ala Mode.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

'When I was young, I said I'd make it big or know the reason why - Well, I sure know the reason why!'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'Recalculating...recalculating...'

"I know it may be wrong, but it's how I feel."

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

Children's education

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

'Maths is fun!'

Hanging off every word...

"It's called geometry, Mum."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'