Maths Master Gifts

You can't add apples and oranges, son, only the government can do that

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

Pi Ala Mode.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

'Recalculating...recalculating...'

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'Maths is fun!'

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"It's called geometry, Mum."

Graduation Speech.

Counting part time employees is the new math.

When Cells Divide

'Shouldn't we spend a little time on the ARTS?'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

Information booth attendant solves equation

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

"Don't blame me for the grade, blame Google's algorithms."

Math Teacher

"Something just didn't add up."

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

Staff Yearbook

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."