Metric Master Gifts

'Looks like he's hitting his targets'

Cubits? Haven't You gone metric yet?

"We're all metric now..."

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

"Lucky Guess."

"Well, here's your problem. You need an O right there."

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

Poetry repairman

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

IRS tax instructions.

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

"Pal, you're a guitar lesson flyer in a math tutor part of town."

"It kind of puts it all in perspective, doesn't it?"

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'How's your research on nuclear waste disposal going?'

'Please don't read anything into the minutes, Ms. Thomas. Just reading the minutes will suffice.'

'How do you measure the success of your blog?'

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

'Good. Now slide the 'O' ring over the hubble's sleeve there in front of you.'

'Absent any details, in purely visual terms, I like it.'

Woman strips on a public scale in order to get a lower reading.

Checking watch

"This is why you read the instructions."

Large handbook for hand held PCs.

"When dealing with Americans, refer to the heat in Celsius. They hate that."

"I am sorry to inform you that you are displaying early signs of senile dimensiona Mr Johnson."

'I've no time to read books...these are Instruction Manuals for my stuff!'

The war against ignorance